Pansy.

Standard

Guess who attended a fair last week?! If you guessed me and 13,000 other people, you’re spot on. (OK, OK…a month ago. I forgot to post this draft)

This time I was eager to attend a fair because it didn’t involve jobs, online applications, and quasi-high school reunions. Heck, I even have a stuffed red dolphin to show for it!

The best part of it all? The food. I really don’t mind risking e coli contamination for just a sampling of the hot dogs and funnel cake. However, the ferris wheel? Freaked me right out.

You wouldn’t think the most docile of all the rides would be the one sending me into a spiral of panic. Two minutes into my ride of terror I was planning my escape and assessing potential leg fractures from the jump. Some call this pathetic, I call this resourceful.

I only realized what a sissy I was being when I caught sight of the maniacal ride next to me. People were flung around, tossed upside down, pummeled sideways and paying $4 to do so. That’s a ride I really wouldn’t like. So I did what any normal person in a time of uncertainty would do: I thought of those worse off than me. At the very least, my ride didn’t make Iron Maidens look like a fun alternative.

Only broken femurs.

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