I can obliterate zombie gremlins with the flick of my wrist and green pearlescent dice.


A few months ago, I finally gave into the dark-side and joined a guild upon the invitation of my friend, Larry. He read my post about D&D, and invited me to join his group. Let me just say – this ish is complex.


This is definitely a sub-culture I had a lot to learn about. But rather than become overwhelmed by tasks, I gave into my girly tendencies and elected to engage in arts and crafts.

I was so excited to paint my character, I researched painting techniques, shopped for colors, and tested brushes. She finally arrived and I spent several days painting two pewter inches of my Dragonbourne Sorceress. I deliberated color choices and the fashionable appeal of my character’s garments. I also discovered lilac and primrose are the perfect complement to blazing orange. Additionally, these colors help in defeating bosses.

I can prove it.

During this time, I probably should have been studying how to actually play the game, but I’ve never been one to turn down the opportunity to play with a feather collar. You might call me a dork and I might attempt to bludgeon you with my pasty, noodle-like arms. However, you have to admit – Tyrnea kicks a little posterior.

My bling distracts you as I engulf you with flames.

My bling distracts the enemy so I can engulf them in flames.