I want one calendar.


One calendar to rule them all.
Gollum has promised to take care of it forever. However, Gollum’s phone syncing capabilities leave much to be desired. I just want to input a birthday, anniversary or what have you, without the difficulties of re-syncing, re-installing, and re-duct taping it to a screen in order to make the blasted thing work.
At this point, my grandmother has two birthdays. She may be excited for double presents, but I can guarantee, not for double age.
My fix is to go back to paper. But these hip new programs with shining widgets of fulfillment keep calling out to me. Reminding me that paper is a commitment only lesser beings fiddle with. So I’m sucking it up and throwing in the towel tonight. The fancy internet cloud better have this all sorted by morning, or I’m resorting to middle-earth tactics to get what I want.
Trees up in yo’ hood, knockin’ out windows. Woodland creatures assaultin’ yo’ gardens, hobbits causing mischief in yo’ shire. It could get ugly.
In the meantime, if you receive two Christmas or birthday cards this month, it’s because you’re just that important to me.